3:30 am

It's the middle of the night. I can't sleep. I guess I have a lot on my mind. Cleo seems to be begging me for us to go to bed. She keeps curling up in my arms right in front of the keyboard.

I have exactly 4 months left as a PCV. I can't believe it. I am constantly thinking about moving back home- what phone plan to get, should I get a car, when will I start work, taking Cleo to the vet and getting her adjusted, travelling around before I go home, etc. They are swirling about and about.

I feel like this experience is very much like most things in my life- rushed and not appreciated until sometime afterwards. I suddenly find myself nervous to leave, exactly how I felt right before I left LA. I know I will cry when I leave my community especially when I say good-bye to a handful of people. I feel a panic attack coming on....the kind you can actually feel in your skin and throat. The Pearl Jam in the background doesn't seem to help.